Sunday, November 06, 2005

Latrell Sprewell Can Finally Feed His Family

MINNEAPOLIS, MN--A year ago, NBA star Latrell "Spree" Sprewell rejected what he deemed a lowball $21 million, 3 year contract extension from the Minnesota Timberwolves. "I've got my family to feed," the 34-year old guard quipped to the media.

Sprewell's notorious remark set off a media firestorm. While some claimed he was misunderstood, most critics lambasted the 6' 5" guard, who was once suspended a year for choking his coach, as yet another obnoxious, overpaid, out-of-touch, professional athlete.

Not so, says Sprewell today. "I'd just never heard of Costco. That changed everything. Now I'd grab all that money [the Timberwolves] offered me in a heartbeat!"

According to Sprewell, it was Los Angeles Lakers' star Kobe Bryant who introduced him to the nation-wide discount superstore. "When Kobe thought he was going to jail last year, he downsized. That's when he hit on Costco. When me and him were coolin' it this summer he let me in on it."

Sprewell is excited by all that he can now afford. "I can buy a s***load at Costco. They got those Harry and David hams for 60 bucks, 2000 Clos Des Prince Bordeaux for just 30 a bottle, and prime rib eye for only 12 a pound. It's a bitch that the Gold Star Membership sets you back $45 a year, but that's the give and take."

Though a new NBA season commenced last week, Sprewell remains at home--an unrestricted free agent with no contract offers from other teams. According to Spree, this simply allows him the opportunity to discover other price-slashing enterprises. "Don't even get me started on this place called Wal-Mart," he says.

©2005 zombieH

COSTCO...from the cradle to the GRAVE


At 12:52 AM, November 07, 2005, Blogger Seychelle said...

C-O-S-T-C-O. zombieH, that's hilarious. Glad to know he can finally put food on his family. I've never been to a Costco but I know a couple who shop there a lot. They own a big freezer.

At 5:17 PM, November 07, 2005, Blogger Anne-Marie said...

Too funny. Another reason to stay away from Costco, if I ever needed one.


At 7:20 AM, November 15, 2005, Blogger Thunder Mouth said...

Riot! Awesome! You are a Razor!


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