Monday, October 03, 2005

Roy's Walking Again. Alleged Mauler Grows Impatient.

LAS VEGAS - The return of Siegfried & Roy may be inevitable, for Roy Horn can now shuffle short distances without assistance from a rolling walker.

"The magic is back," says Roy, 61, two years after a white tiger mauled him during a performance at the Mirage Hotel. Horn's injuries included a damaged neck artery, a crushed windpipe, and partial paralysis on his left side.

"I meditate a lot, but I am constantly in pain. I'm trying to live with this."

Horn said he is comforted by visiting his animals every week - including Montecore, the white tiger that nearly killed him on stage.

The alleged mauler's attorney had strong words for Horn, however.

"My client rots away in his cell, with no official charges filed, no trial scheduled, no jury of his peers," says Walter F. Banks. "It's an international travesty."

Banks claims that Horn, indeed, visits Montecore every week, but the image of a gentle Roy communing with his tiger is deceptive.

"It's all PR," says Banks. "In reality, my client's in orange jumpsuit and shackles. He's forced to wear one of those Hannibal Lector face masks, too."

"Roy dangles a big turkey drumstick in front of his nose, then snatches it back when Montecore makes a move for it. It's awful."

In a prepared statement, the suspect mauler states, "Two years ago, I was a world-class entertainer who lived for the stage. Now I'm just another U.S. political prisoner, without rights, dignity, or due process."

"I'm deeply disappointed, to say the least. Roy Horn better hope I never get out of here."

(c)2005 zombieH


At 7:46 AM, October 13, 2005, Blogger Thunder Mouth said...

Dude, this is great. Yer really fucked up, man.


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